Fashion Overload

Hail To The Queen

Someday I am going to make my way out to Dollywood so that I can share in a sparkly moment with this lady and drink in her divine. We'll play connect four and like a gentleman, I'll throw the game. I'm just happy and mystified to be seated across from  "Miss Homo-Explosion" in what must be a Bob Mackie original. As the evening progresses, I get a little cocky (and a lot of drunk) and push the pearls aside in order to motorboat her majesty. I want to get inside her head. Never give up kids. It's important to have dreams and goals.

Rihanna's Eyes Appear in Ad

The "Light Up Your Eyes" Advertisement from Cover Girl cosmetics which feature domestic abuse poster child Rihanna have been yanked from this weeks People Magazine. This is after she was beaten by then beau Chris Brown and disturbing police photos surfaced of the songstress after the incident.There's a multitude of punny punchilines I could use here, but there's a place where even I dare not venture.

Mourn Your Wrinkles

Givenchy has developed a black serum to eradicate fine lines and wrinkles. The fashion house's Fall/Winter collection this season is a celebration of all that is noir so why should their beauty line be any different. Actually,  they've devoted a sizable chunk of their last few collections to the color (or lackthereof) and instead focused on silhouette, texture and detailing. As expected, the ink like anti-aging concoction isn't inexpensive. Retailing for $360 bucks(!) Le Soin Noir will empty you wallet and leave you looking a little dirty. I suppose this is how things are now. Your options: wrinkle-free and filthy or textured and flesh toned. Adios crow's feet!  Bonjour Soin Noir!

Kiehl's Holiday Discount

FREE Cosmetics

Department stores like Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Filene's, Lord & Taylor, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, and Saks Fifth Avenue cheated consumers by making a pact that they'd only sell cosmetic products at the suggested retail price. By doing so, there is no competition between stores, no discounts, and the consumer loses out. It's called price fixing, and it's a violation of antitrust laws. CK One, CK Be, Eternity, Chanel No. 5, M.A.C, Clinique, and Prescriptives were all involved and many, many more.

Judges ordered this in action in 2004. But now, finally, the stores and companies are paying for it. The stores are ordered to give away $175 million worth of products starting in 2009, a mere four and a half months away. Plus, they have to pay almost $24 million in attorney fees. (They're also never allowed to engage in price-fixing again, but that's pretty much a given.)

And come 2009, the giveaway begins! Don't lose out on what you're entitled to. And free makeup is free makeup. Here's how to score your own $25 worth:

1. Sign a form that says you purchased the covered products between May 29, 1994, and July 16, 2003, and you're a resident of the United States.

2. Enter in your e-mail and mailing address HERE or call 877-604-5776 to leave your name and mailing address.

3. Wait for the alert that tells you you're eligible.

4. Then get $25 worth of free makeup!

Cosmetics Starr Found Dead

Makeup artist Paul Starr was found dead in his apartment in LA  on Tuesday. He was thought to be 48. Few details of Starr’s death were available. According to a friend, Starr hadn’t been seen or heard from in several days. After knocking repeatedly on his door, the door was broken down and his body found. The cause was unknown.

In his more than 20 years as a top makeup artist, Starr worked extensively in fashion and film, working as a key makeup artist at fashion shows for designers Jean Paul Gaultier, Vivienne Westwood, Dolce & Gabbana and Sass & Bide. He worked with a who’s who of top fashion photographers, including Herb RItts, Mario Testino, David LaChapelle, Bruce Weber and Helmut Newton.

Shower With Brad Pitt

One hundred percent of the proceeds from Kiehl’s Aloe Vera Biodegradable Liquid Body Cleanser, washing up in stores in October for $16.95 a bottle, will go to the newly launched JPF Eco Systems, a nonprofit started by Pitt and Kiehl's to "minimize impact on the environment through thoughtful design."

The cleanser, packaged in recyclable plastic and consisting of all-natural ingredients such as aloe vera, coconut-derived cleansers and glycerin, is joining Kiehl's famed product line permanently and will be available online, at Kiehl's counters in department stores and in the company's freestanding boutiques.

The first beneficiary of the deal will be Pitt's own Make It Right organization, which he started last year to fund building rebuilding projects in New Orleans.

Look Like A Star (of a Slasher Flick)

I've seen and heard any number of unconventional beauty products. In fact, through years of spa visits and gift bags I've accumulated an assortment of odd gadgets and serums. Pore vacuum? Yup. Paraffin station? Collecting dust. Pearl infused moisturizer? Got tons of the stuff. Despite my collection of snake oils and beauty gizmos, I took a moments pause when I was confronted with the Rejuvenique Facial Toning Mask Kit. I'm not really sure why a big facial vibrator would do much of anything for your pores. My biggest problem is with the appearance of the mask itself. If I walked into a room where someone was using this, I'd probably run screaming out of the room, convinced I had just encountered a deranged serial killer. Am I wrong?

Manicure Anyone?

Miss out on your manicure this week? Strapped for time? Talika's Instant Manicure is here to help. The process couldn't be easier: Dump the powder into a bowl of warm water and soak your fingers for three minutes. Lemon and ivy extracts clean your nails, and vitamin C whitens while horsetail extract infuses the area with essential minerals. The effervescence or the "Pop Rocks experience" enhances the effect. The result? Supple cuticles, a squeaky clean nail bed, and brighter, whiter tips.

Eye Do!

J'adore Viktor + Rolf. Since their Spring/Summer showing was heavily influenced by Pierrot and Harlequin. it's fitting that their partnership with a cosmetics giant would be whimsical in its approach. Who wants false eyelashes that look natural? All that time, patience and theatricality wasted on subtlety? No. Give me a tiara of hair for my eyelids, something fantastical, surreal and too expensive for your run-of-the-mill drag queen! For $170 per pair, at colette Viktor & Rolf’s new lashes for Shu Uemura certainly aren't for everyone. They come in three styles: Swirl is an elongated feathery look, Wing sort of resembles paperclips,  and Rhombus reveals a gold embossed harlequin pattern when the wearer closes their eyes.