It's about that time of year and I'm starting to get a lot of emails regarding formal dresses for young ladies. Even though we have a tendency to say that all teens and tweens are dressing too racy for their own good nowadays, when I look through the images of the goods that are available 95% of them are these hideous and unflattering empire waisted, long column dresses. Unless you're at least 5'10" and max out at 105lbs you'll look fat and stumpy in these gowns. Why not select something that is shorter.. say cocktail length? You can put the torches and pitch forks away people. I'm not talking micro-minis. Just knee length or a couple inches above.
This particular dress is the wrongest I've seen thus far. I mean, I'm kinda amazed and scared of the teen bitch that would leave the house in a huge swollen vagina dress... with both a tiara and that smug expression. That takes some HUGE nuts. Really, this is one of those garments that only a drag queen could pull off.
People like to say that this millenia is all about multitasking. We blog and Twitter when we should be driving, or walk and chew gum. This mish-mash of a garment is part g-string and hip hugger jeans for the kind of classy gal who's multitasking prowess involves doing things like having sex while she makes money. Don't even get me started on the belly piercing.
Tell me you don't see the resemblance.
The absolute worst red carpet appearance I caught at the Palm Springs International Film Festival this week goes to Mira Sorvino. Her dress was pretty unflattering and moreover it just looked like a dirty nightgown. Then you throw on a silver wrap that looks like a holiday packaging after thought that is completely disconnected to the Trashy Lingerie look shes pushing so hard. Don't even get me started on the hair.
This week I attended the awards gala for the Palm Springs International Film Festival where many a celebrity walked the red carpet. One of my least favorites had to be Amy Adams. Adams has lovely skin and is for the most part a beautiful girl who typically looks pretty snooze worthy. She's never in anything particularly interesting or especially bad but at the same time in that merit she is often wearing items that don't do her figure or skin tone justice. This who ensemble is a perfect example. Not only does the tie look out of place and awkward on her (seriously, could have been fixed very easily by covering the closure with an interesting brooch) but the whole thing makes her look pale, bloated and lumpy. Now I think she is just a stunning beauty so I find it such a shame that things had to go down the way they did. Her clown-like make-up isn't helping the situation any either. Additionally.. this is a season of stunning heels when her shoes are a serious bore. Ultimately there isn't anything remarkable about this ensemble that screams "I am a super star!" and gives you the sort of drama or sparkle that it takes to really own a red carpet... and I really, REALLY hate her eye makeup.
What better way to cement your place in the asshat hall of fame than to get yourself a Christian Audigier Lamborghini? Edo Competition joined forces with the designer to produce the limited edition Murcielago called the edo LP 710 Audigier. The vehicle features a matte black exterior with his signature skull tattoo themes. The car has been rebuilt with new aerodynamics, wheels, tires and reaches 124mph in just
under 10 seconds and touts a top speed of the 223.7mph (360km/h). Only five of the autos are going to be produced and they come at a price of $692,500. Click images to enlarge.
Debbie Harry seems to have taken a page from the Madonna's styling guide: "I'm Still Sexy.. I PROMISE". I don't have anything against women aging. I love Madonna, Debbie Harry, and Tina Turner along with a collection of maturing female singers. This isn't misogyny.
It's possible for a woman to appear sexy, confident, and completely radiant without looking like an anemic streetwalker. I'm not saying Debbie has to make a complete transition to donning ugly holiday sweaters and mom jeans. It's just that ladies should be aware (I'm looking at you too Cher!) that tramping out in a fire engine red micro mini, matchin fishnets and a set of patent thigh-high spikes actually makes one appear older. Leave the trampy outfits of yesteryear behind. Their spirit lives on forever in memories... and the performances of lip synching drag queens.
You can thrown this one in the WTF? bin: Vogue online listed Pixie Geldof as the one of the week's best dressed for this ensemble she wore out to the British Fashion Awards. The Fug Girls went to town on the Muppet coat, turban/headband and stripper heels. However, the girls didn't showcase the best part of the ensemble.. a chainmail vestlet paired with a high-waisted skirt. Whaaa?
Recent Comments