Fashion Overload

Offending Editorial: Miley Cyrus

Photographing a young girl nearly or completely naked has been the modus operandi for fashion publications for eons. Since Vanity Fair straddles the fence between an entertainment and/or fashion title, they used a teen star whose age we actually know  instead of a random model this time around, so we're all allowed to freak out a little bit.

In regards to the recent controversial images of Miley Ray Cyrus, VF issued a statement this morning:

"Miley's parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley."

Puh-lease. My BS Barometer is registering a whopper that is off the charts. Annie Leibovitz and VF are doing their best to pretend like they can't imagine we are all so filthy for thinking that there was anything suggesting a modicum of sexuality... because her dad supervised the whole thing, knowingly sexually exploiting minors is one of those things that most people are opposed to.

Throwing the 15 year old in front of a camera topless in a bed sheet with tousled hair and pouty lips suggests an atmosphere of sin. I have no problems with sexuality, but the PR folks at VF should really stop trying to play this card of shock and ignorance of the issues at hand.

Everybody recognizes sex when they see it - humans are hardwired for it and media outlets are experts at pushing our buttons in that particular arena. The fact that her dad thinks it's a purty picture that he would be proud to "hang on his own walls" is among other things: sad, disturbing and incredibly creepy.

At least the folks at the Disney  Channel seem to have a realistic grasp on the circumstances when they responded to the images with:

"...a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines."

Killing with Karl

J'adore Karl Lagerfeld. The man expertly designs over 30 lines of clothing and accessories, moonlights as an advertising and editorial photographer, and is an occasional film subject. This septuagenarian makes Martha Stewart look like a major slacker.

In an announcement this week, Kaiser Karl gave me yet another reason to love him. It seems that he'll be lending his voice to an infamously violent video game. That's right, he is the radio DJ and host of  "K109: The Studio" in Grand Theft Auto IV, due out April 29th. The asexual Lagerfeld described his relationship with Rockstar Games as "friendship at first sight." The iconic designer also filled my heart with campy glee when he explained that it was the exceptionally offensive possibilities that initially attracted him to the gig:

"They are the games of our times. Those games in a way changed the world...They had written a politically incorrect dialogue...I loved it, [particularly] in a time when everybody wants to be so politically correct when they talk...I prefer to be in a video than to play with it. I would love to be a very nasty, politically incorrect character."

There is a name for the magical place where I'm able to mow down pedestrians, slaughter and mutilate hookers, all while listening to Lagerfeld babble in his heady French accent.

I call that place heaven.